Spinning into Focus

I am writing this from the SeaTac Airport, on my way home after an amazing week in Portland, OR.  When I left home last Friday morning I knew knew where I was headed but I had no idea how differently I'd feel on the other side.

Portland, to me, is the home of bellydance growth and exploration.  I was lucky enough to go last year (almost to the day) to tackle Rachel Brice's Initiation - the first phase of the 8 Elements program.  I spent a week with other dancers from all over the world (US, Mexico, Italy, & Brazil were represented this week) willing to immerse themselves in the intensive just like me - we had dance in common but, for the most part, nothing else that we knew of upon signing up or showing up.  The week (5 days) we spent together was full of yoga and bellydance, both practice and theory, and made an impact on us for sure.  I left with new friends, a new focus for my dance practice, and a sense of accomplishment for having finished the program.



This year, I got to go back for Phase 2 - Cultivation.
Instead of a room full of 30+strangers I was

walking into a room with about 20 other dancers, 6 of whom I knew from Initiation.  For phase 1, the homework/pre-work was minimal (read 1 book and summarize a piece of it).  The expectations were higher and more specific this time - 3 months of practice logs, a book report, and a list of specific moves/isolations/zill patterns we should be comfortable with before we got there.  We were also lucky enough to be at Datura Studio - home base for Rachel Brice.

What a difference a year makes!

I did my homework...I read my book, I documented my practice, and I'd worked on the moves/isolations as directed.  Even so, I didn't feel 100% ready.  I also had a good amount of fear coming along for the ride.  Would I be "good enough" to succeed?  Were all the other dancers stronger, more accomplished, just plain better than me so I'd end up left in the bellydance dust regardless of the work I'd done to prepare?  I was fairly well prepared to be on the older end of the age scale, and on the heavier end of the weight/body-type scale, so that didn't really produce much fear.  Now, the zill patterns were challenging - going back over what we'd done in initiation (and what I'd pretty much left alone until Cultivation homework started up) and feeling like I wasn't quite sure how I'd done them before (but knowing that I had) was a bit unnerving.  And the Spins - we were supposed to know how to do calibrated spins.  Spins of all kinds have always been hard for me, but they were even harder on this side of my hysterectomy (how was that only 3 months ago?), and when I got on the plane on Friday I did so knowing I'd need a lot of practice and work while I was there if I wanted to be able to move on to Phase 3.

I didn't factor in the magic.

This program that Rachel Brice has created and that she nurtures with her own two hands is amazing. We all filed in on the first day with our zills and books and dance belts and fears and worries and excitement and hunger for learning.  Rachel joined us with her support and knowledge and plans and games and stories and videos.  Put together, the group of us grew and changed over the course of 8 days (7 days of work with one day off for rest, practice, and study).  I walked into that room having years of dance experience, a background in creating dances for myself and others, and a high desire to succeed, but not a wealth of experience in doing dances that OTHERS made for me, or of dancing with zills, or with spinning.  I walked out of that room having gotten to the point in my dance ability that I could turn (16 counts, calibrated spins), turn and zill (8 counts),  dance multiple combinations on both the right and left while playing multiple zill patterns, follow and lead ATS style, identify (and write out) multiple middle-eastern rhythms, and dance how someone else (several someones, in fact) wanted to see me move.

The changes didn't just happen.  There was a lot of work - physical, mental, emotional - that I needed to do each day (including our day off) to make the progress happen.  I had to be reminded to let the growth happen, not to rush it.  I needed to remember to be kind to myself  in terms of the little voice in my head.  I needed to listen to my body and take breaks or push forward depending on the moment and the exercise.  I needed to open up to my peers, both offering help and getting it in turn.

It took all of the days available, and a lot of the tricks from The Little Book of Talent, and maybe a little bit of luck, but when I walked into the testing room I did it - I made my way through the task set for me without throwing up, falling down, or losing my timing on my zills.   I won't know the official test results for a week but that doesn't matter.  I "passed" by giving the experience my all and by being able to hold my head high during that harrowing practical test (the written wasn't a walk in the park, either), one-on-one with Rachel Brice, my Teacher (capitalization intentional).

I am leaving Portland and this phase of my 8 Elements training with a new focus. I have a hunger to create and, believe it or not, perform. I have new ideas for teaching that I'm looking forward to sharing with the ladies of the studio. Most important, though, is my new belief in myself as a dancer and a student.