Talking, with Intention

I had the pleasure of hosting a screening of Miss Representation last night, and my brain is still buzzing from the experience.  

We gathered together over 20 women/girls (and one man) for the movie, and over 15 stayed for the discussion.  It was my second time watching the film, but the first time with a large group.



It was a powerful evening.

Listening to girls (10 - 15 years old) talking about what they saw in the movie and in their own lives served to fire me up even more than I already was (and let me tell you, my first viewing fired me up quite a bit) and underscored the sense of responsibility I feel towards this next generation.

Listening to my peers talk about what they're willing to do, moving forward, to make a difference in how women are viewed in society was heartening.  We stayed focused on the positive changes we can each make...changes we WILL make, and everyone was able to commit to something.

The actions we came up with were varied, both in scope and size.  From building and strengthening the lines of communication between mother and daughter to encouraging girls to strive for holding high-profile political positions, everyone in that room is ready to DO SOMETHING, and that is something in and of itself.

For my part, I've committed to doing the following:

• Starting the Women's Business Empowerment Workgroup, to empower, support, and encourage women business owners towards greater success.
• Holding regular discussion groups for those interested in making change happen in terms of how women are portrayed in media and our communities.
• Scheduling another screening of this powerful film that is open to all genders to get the discussion happening in a broader way.
• Starting a scholarship fund to expand the accessibility of Hip Circle Studio, exposing more women and girls to our particular flavor of supportive health & wellness activities.
• Actively saying POSITIVE things about (and to) myself around body image and self-worth, and doing so where other people can hear me.

How about you?  What can you do - what WILL you do - to change the story of how women are portrayed in media and our society at large?

Responsibility Worth Having

I have the honor of teaching a small but dedicated group of girls the fine art of bellydance each week. Their class is set up in much the same way as my "adult" classes - with a good blend of technique, creativity, and conversation.  I didn't necessarily set out to teach them anything more than bellydance, but something else that's pretty neat is happening in class.

I've never sat them down and said, "ok, girls.  Today we're going to talk about self-esteem, body image, and the importance of health over appearance", or "You all know that the media completely distorts the female form and that you are so much more than your outer shell", or "Repeat after me: My health is more important than my weight or the size of my clothes".  Honest!  We do talk about life and dance and strength and wellness and all sorts of other stuff (I'd get into details but what happens at Teen Bellydance stays at Teen Bellydance) but I really don't lecture about anything other than choreography.

So when one of their moms came to me with a story about something her daughter said to her I didn't know what to expect.  Her daughter had caught mom not giving herself enough credit and measuring herself up against societal standards ("beach ready body", for example).  The teen stopped her mom, asked her "what would Malik say if she heard you talking like that?" and continued to pay mom a compliment focused on her HEALTH and the lifestyle changes she'd made over the past year.

I seriously almost cried.

Then I lost my breath.

Something I've been doing, not saying, has seeped into this girls awareness and made an impact - a great one - and I didn't notice.  Wow.  I have a huge responsibility to her and all the girls and all the women I encounter at the studio.  A HUGE responsibility, and so do you.

I 100% agree with what she said.  Health is the most important factor in the quest for wellness.  All bodies, regardless of their shape, are beach ready.  Making lasting lifestyle changes is the best way to improve your health.

We all need to be aware that our children (and other people's children) are watching and learning from what we DO as much as, if not more than, from what we say.   It's the doing that's key.  So, what was it that I did?

1. She sees me at the studio, teaching, at least twice a week (and knows I'm there every day).
2. She sees me, at a robust size 12/14, leading a very active lifestyle.
3. She has not heard me bad-talk myself about my weight or size.
4. She has seen me redirect other adults and teens when they start to bad-talk themselves.

I'm pretty sure that's it, but it's enough.  

Can you join me in taking on the responsibility for this next generation?  Can you commit to numbers  2 & 3, regardless of your size and shape?  Can you commit to number 4?

I promise, the results will be good for you and everyone around you.

Getting Girls Hooked on Fitness

I haven't always been active.  In fact, if you'd told me in my twenties that I'd be making a living as a dance and fitness instructor I'd have laughed (and that would have been my workout for the day).  In my teens my activity was limited to whatever they had me doing in gym.  In my youth I did the requisite dance classes, and spent a fair number of years taking skating lessons, but I was never active outside of these organized classes.  What were the adults in my life doing?  A lot of sitting and driving. Even the teachers of the active classes I took did more directing than demonstrating.  Did this set me up for being a sedentary, unhealthily overweight adult?  Maybe...

One of the things that pushed me to open the studio was the desire to have a space where women could bring their girls to share workouts and dance classes.  Let girls stand, dance, and sweat next to women of all ages, shapes, and sizes to encourage an active lifestyle and positive self-esteem.

We have to do something to change how the next generation looks at fitness.

How many of us struggle with keeping our own health and wellness at the top of our to-do lists each week?  I have to believe that giving our daughters regular practice working out - in the company of our generation - will carry over into adulthood.  Think of it: if going to workout is a treat you get after completing that day's homework, how does that change your relationship with fitness?  How about the benefits of being able to get your workout in while spending quality time with your daughter?  This is a win-win scenario that has the power to change the world!

Will it work?  I think it already is...