Why I Dance

This month has had a theme for me...time and time again I find myself addressing the question of Why I Dance, so it seems right to do so here, too.

When I first found bellydance I was looking for a tool - something I could add to my doula bag of tricks.  I wasn't looking for something to change my life or fix anything or a vehicle for change in the world, but that's what I found.

Changed My Life

8 Elements = Family

Going from one class a week, to two classes a week, to teaching 6-week workshops, to developing a weekly class,  to choreographing with a partner, to directing a student troupe, to developing additional classes, to opening the studio, to pursuing 8 Elements certification, to choreographing on my own, to developing the 100Days project - Bellydance has become a central part of my everyday life.  With that transition has come a greater understanding of myself as a physical being, and the realization that I am (and forever will be) an artist.  

Fixed Things

Zahara Fusion at Streets Alive
image by Maike's Marvels

Through bellydance I have found my way to accepting and seeing beauty in the physical form regardless of what form that takes.  Seeing women of all shapes and sizes dancing is so powerful.  I am proud to say that I am the closest I have ever been to accepting my own body without apology.  Bellydance has also been a big part in my recovery process, both physically and psychologically, over the past decade.  I would not be who I am today without it.

Changing the World

image by Karen Kring

When I taught a group of brand new dancers this week I shared part of why I dance bare-bellied.  I told them that we, as a society, are so unused to seeing things that are real.  When I get on stage showing my belly - flesh, fat, stretch marks, and all - I am embodying the motto of my student troupe: Real Women, Dancing for Joy.  Through being myself and teaching women and girls of all ages and backgrounds I'm participating in a mini-revolution.  And that just might change the world.





I hope you all find your bellydance, whatever it may be, and discover the thing that will change your life, fix what ails you, and helps you change the world.  

Let it Go

In January, 2015, I put the following prompt up for potential guest bloggers:

Write about why you come to the studio, what happens in your class(s), what you ate for breakfast - whatever you want that you can tie in to the studio doings.

The In Their Words posts share the contributions of the women who answered that call, in their words, without edits.  Enjoy!

Let It Go by Rebecca Sturgeon

I danced today.  There was a time not too long ago when I wondered if that would ever happen again.  But a little over a year ago, I started taking bellydance classes at Hip Circle Studio, and discovered a love for this art form that has enriched my creative life.  

But the most profound thing is the love I discovered for something truly precious — my physical self.  I danced today and almost without thinking, my body made shapes and moving sculptures in the air that were lovely to look at.  I know — I have the video to prove it.  I danced today and when I watched the video to learn from it, I thought about the dance, not about how my belly looked or whether or not I had a muffin top in this outfit.  I danced today and I loved my bones and muscles for all things I have trained them to do.  I loved the length and space I could take up with my arms, and the smile I could see on my face.  I loved the heart that beat faster with every spin and jump.  

A while back, I spent time with Malik learning how to engage my glute muscles for hip shimmies.  We practiced for almost an hour — squeeze, release, squeeze release.  At one point Malik said something like, “The release is just as important as the squeeze.  You need to let go all the way.”  Later, I realized how much that little idea meant to everything.  

In this practice of dance and this learning, I could finally let go all the way.  I could let go of all the negative body image and self talk that kept me small and hiding.  And when I let go all the way, new things rushed in to lift me up.  I danced today and I let go all the way of the doubt that I was not good enough or trained enough or thin enough or pretty enough.  What rushed in was confidence, joy and some badass looking crossover turns.  

I danced today, I am going to dance tomorrow, and every day to follow for a very long time.  Every day I am looking forward to letting go, all the way, to see what rushes in.

Rebecca Sturgeon writes more about being a grown up woman in a strange new world at her blog,goingmapless.blogspot.com.  

Spinning into Focus

I am writing this from the SeaTac Airport, on my way home after an amazing week in Portland, OR.  When I left home last Friday morning I knew knew where I was headed but I had no idea how differently I'd feel on the other side.

Portland, to me, is the home of bellydance growth and exploration.  I was lucky enough to go last year (almost to the day) to tackle Rachel Brice's Initiation - the first phase of the 8 Elements program.  I spent a week with other dancers from all over the world (US, Mexico, Italy, & Brazil were represented this week) willing to immerse themselves in the intensive just like me - we had dance in common but, for the most part, nothing else that we knew of upon signing up or showing up.  The week (5 days) we spent together was full of yoga and bellydance, both practice and theory, and made an impact on us for sure.  I left with new friends, a new focus for my dance practice, and a sense of accomplishment for having finished the program.



This year, I got to go back for Phase 2 - Cultivation.
Instead of a room full of 30+strangers I was

walking into a room with about 20 other dancers, 6 of whom I knew from Initiation.  For phase 1, the homework/pre-work was minimal (read 1 book and summarize a piece of it).  The expectations were higher and more specific this time - 3 months of practice logs, a book report, and a list of specific moves/isolations/zill patterns we should be comfortable with before we got there.  We were also lucky enough to be at Datura Studio - home base for Rachel Brice.

What a difference a year makes!

I did my homework...I read my book, I documented my practice, and I'd worked on the moves/isolations as directed.  Even so, I didn't feel 100% ready.  I also had a good amount of fear coming along for the ride.  Would I be "good enough" to succeed?  Were all the other dancers stronger, more accomplished, just plain better than me so I'd end up left in the bellydance dust regardless of the work I'd done to prepare?  I was fairly well prepared to be on the older end of the age scale, and on the heavier end of the weight/body-type scale, so that didn't really produce much fear.  Now, the zill patterns were challenging - going back over what we'd done in initiation (and what I'd pretty much left alone until Cultivation homework started up) and feeling like I wasn't quite sure how I'd done them before (but knowing that I had) was a bit unnerving.  And the Spins - we were supposed to know how to do calibrated spins.  Spins of all kinds have always been hard for me, but they were even harder on this side of my hysterectomy (how was that only 3 months ago?), and when I got on the plane on Friday I did so knowing I'd need a lot of practice and work while I was there if I wanted to be able to move on to Phase 3.

I didn't factor in the magic.

This program that Rachel Brice has created and that she nurtures with her own two hands is amazing. We all filed in on the first day with our zills and books and dance belts and fears and worries and excitement and hunger for learning.  Rachel joined us with her support and knowledge and plans and games and stories and videos.  Put together, the group of us grew and changed over the course of 8 days (7 days of work with one day off for rest, practice, and study).  I walked into that room having years of dance experience, a background in creating dances for myself and others, and a high desire to succeed, but not a wealth of experience in doing dances that OTHERS made for me, or of dancing with zills, or with spinning.  I walked out of that room having gotten to the point in my dance ability that I could turn (16 counts, calibrated spins), turn and zill (8 counts),  dance multiple combinations on both the right and left while playing multiple zill patterns, follow and lead ATS style, identify (and write out) multiple middle-eastern rhythms, and dance how someone else (several someones, in fact) wanted to see me move.

The changes didn't just happen.  There was a lot of work - physical, mental, emotional - that I needed to do each day (including our day off) to make the progress happen.  I had to be reminded to let the growth happen, not to rush it.  I needed to remember to be kind to myself  in terms of the little voice in my head.  I needed to listen to my body and take breaks or push forward depending on the moment and the exercise.  I needed to open up to my peers, both offering help and getting it in turn.

It took all of the days available, and a lot of the tricks from The Little Book of Talent, and maybe a little bit of luck, but when I walked into the testing room I did it - I made my way through the task set for me without throwing up, falling down, or losing my timing on my zills.   I won't know the official test results for a week but that doesn't matter.  I "passed" by giving the experience my all and by being able to hold my head high during that harrowing practical test (the written wasn't a walk in the park, either), one-on-one with Rachel Brice, my Teacher (capitalization intentional).

I am leaving Portland and this phase of my 8 Elements training with a new focus. I have a hunger to create and, believe it or not, perform. I have new ideas for teaching that I'm looking forward to sharing with the ladies of the studio. Most important, though, is my new belief in myself as a dancer and a student.

Responsibility Worth Having

I have the honor of teaching a small but dedicated group of girls the fine art of bellydance each week. Their class is set up in much the same way as my "adult" classes - with a good blend of technique, creativity, and conversation.  I didn't necessarily set out to teach them anything more than bellydance, but something else that's pretty neat is happening in class.

I've never sat them down and said, "ok, girls.  Today we're going to talk about self-esteem, body image, and the importance of health over appearance", or "You all know that the media completely distorts the female form and that you are so much more than your outer shell", or "Repeat after me: My health is more important than my weight or the size of my clothes".  Honest!  We do talk about life and dance and strength and wellness and all sorts of other stuff (I'd get into details but what happens at Teen Bellydance stays at Teen Bellydance) but I really don't lecture about anything other than choreography.

So when one of their moms came to me with a story about something her daughter said to her I didn't know what to expect.  Her daughter had caught mom not giving herself enough credit and measuring herself up against societal standards ("beach ready body", for example).  The teen stopped her mom, asked her "what would Malik say if she heard you talking like that?" and continued to pay mom a compliment focused on her HEALTH and the lifestyle changes she'd made over the past year.

I seriously almost cried.

Then I lost my breath.

Something I've been doing, not saying, has seeped into this girls awareness and made an impact - a great one - and I didn't notice.  Wow.  I have a huge responsibility to her and all the girls and all the women I encounter at the studio.  A HUGE responsibility, and so do you.

I 100% agree with what she said.  Health is the most important factor in the quest for wellness.  All bodies, regardless of their shape, are beach ready.  Making lasting lifestyle changes is the best way to improve your health.

We all need to be aware that our children (and other people's children) are watching and learning from what we DO as much as, if not more than, from what we say.   It's the doing that's key.  So, what was it that I did?

1. She sees me at the studio, teaching, at least twice a week (and knows I'm there every day).
2. She sees me, at a robust size 12/14, leading a very active lifestyle.
3. She has not heard me bad-talk myself about my weight or size.
4. She has seen me redirect other adults and teens when they start to bad-talk themselves.

I'm pretty sure that's it, but it's enough.  

Can you join me in taking on the responsibility for this next generation?  Can you commit to numbers  2 & 3, regardless of your size and shape?  Can you commit to number 4?

I promise, the results will be good for you and everyone around you.

Expectations - Bellydance BaseFusion

We are a cautious people.  We like to read reviews before buying an item or trying out  a recipe.  We like to choose our practitioners based on referrals from friends and family.  We like to see pictures and video of people and places before we meet them or plan a visit.  Having an idea of what is going to happen before it happens seems to make it easier to take that leap into the unknown.

So what can you expect at Hip Circle Studio classes?  I'm going to do my best to give you a peek into the different classes we offer through a series of "Expectations" posts.  Of course, seeing is believing, so I hope this is just enough information to help you give a class a try.  Nothing is a replacement for the live experience.

Bellydance BaseFusion

The Description - Discover the fun inherent in the basics of bellydance in this beginning level class. Each week will include a variety of moves to expose you to the basics of how the body moves in bellydance and the fusion styles used by Malik and Zahara Fusion. Regular practice in using combinations will prepare you for taking on Intermediate Bellydance. You’ll also work your way up to being comfortable with improvisational dancing thanks to the strong foundation presented in this class. Students can be as young as 8 and as old as the sun. Students under 12 must attend with their parent.  

Translation - the focus is on fun, this is a beginning level class (no experience necessary), you'll learn all sorts of moves, you'll practice free dancing, young  girls/teens are welcome, and there's another level class to aim for.

But, what's going  to happen when you walk in for your first class, right?

• You'll encounter women/girls who are different.  Honestly, I don't think we have 2 students that look enough alike to be confused for each other!
• You'll take off your shoes and socks.
• You'll get to choose a coin belt to borrow (unless you bring your own).
• You'll be greeted warmly by me and the other students.
• You'll move!  We do a gentle warm up to prep your heart, muscles, and joints, then get into the content for the week.  Each class ends with a 3-5 minute free dance time before we cool down and stretch.
• You'll chat! We're a friendly bunch and we while away our drills (yay, shimmies!) with light conversation.
• You'll laugh! Nothing is taken too seriously in this level - we're here to have a good time and get to know (maybe even love?) our bodies.  Critiques and such are saved for the intermediate level classes.
• You'll hear a variety of music, from all over the world, while dancing in class.

What don't you have to worry about in our BaseFusion class?

• Baring your belly.  You can be as dressed as you'd like in this class, though it is easiest for me to help you master the moves if you have form-fitting (think yoga style) clothing.  Feel better in a huge t-shirt and baggy sweats?  Go for it.
• Your two left feet.  Heck, bring three if you have them!  Perfection is not the goal in this class and we're not packed in like sardines so there's room for "interpretation" of directions.  Honest - if you've had bad experiences before that have left you with the notion that you "can't dance" this class can help you turn that around.  Everybody can bellydance.
• Competition.  There is no "winning" in our classes (at any level), so there's no need to compete.  I am beyond thrilled with the community of women we've gathered at the studio and how their first instinct is to help and welcome new folks.
• Fat/Skinny/Young/Old bashing.  ALL WOMEN ARE WELCOME!  Let me say that again...ALL WOMEN ARE WELCOME!  However you are, whoever you are, you can walk into the studio and know you'll be accepted.  Every.Body.CAN.Bellydance.

Now it's your turn.  Comment with your experiences from coming to Bellydance BaseFusion.  If you haven't been yet, come give it a try and then add your comments into the mix.  

Determination VS Distraction

While studying with Rachel Brice in Portland we all participated in a ritual she called “One-Word Check-in” where we went around the circle and were asked to sum up how we were feeling at the start of that day in one word.  Harder than you’d think, honestly!  Give it a try now – what one word would you use to sum up today?  I found the practice an interesting one in that the first word that came to mind was rarely the one I shared with the circle.  This was not because the first thought was wrong, exactly, but that when given some time (there were about 35 of us in the circle) other words floated up to the surface and presented themselves as a more correct summation of my feelings.  At any given moment I imagine I’m feeling quite a bit of different things, though it’s not too often that I take the time to identify them all.

Some of us from Initiation have continued this practice in a Facebook group created by Andrea to facilitate our continued dance practice away from the magic of that circle.  Here’s what I posted today:

Today I feel determined...I squeezed in 45 minutes of practice time even though I had to give up my "scheduled" (with myself on my calendar) time earlier in the day...I did a short DD-Hips followed by 18 minutes of drills (18 simple moves, 1 minute each)...I took the first step towards tackling my nemesis the choo choo shimmy...I forced myself to improv and made a breakthrough...and had a productive work day to-boot. Now I'm recharging before teaching this evening by nibbling on hummus and pea pods.

The thing is, when I was thinking about this blog post this morning I thought my word for today was going to be Distracted.  Distracted is true for today, too.  I’ve done about 2 million things, many of them before 10 am, and felt myself pulled in direction after direction, not feeling like I was being terribly successful at completing things along the way.  Due to my distraction I gave up my morning dance practice as scheduled, putting out several work-fires instead, but Determined wins.  Why?  When I looked back at my day in preparation for making my check in, my successes rose to the top despite the distracted environment I lived in today. 

In the end, isn’t it what floats to the top that matters the most?

Creativity

I've been in a rut.  I didn't realize it before but it's clear as the day is long from where I sit right now.  If I had to put a date on it, I'd say the rut began forming about 8 months ago.  Wow.

What happens on the other side of a rut?  HUGE WAVES OF CREATIVITY!  I had the honor of spending the last week away from home, immersed in bellydance at the hands of Rachel Brice - a dancer who I have long admired for her technique but now have her wonderful personality and integrity to admire as well.  In her 8 Elements: Initiation we were pushed to tap into our creative selves on a daily basis, exploring what our brains and bodies had to offer as well as collaborating with the other dancers in the room.  The result was amazing on so many levels - so very many levels - but one very important outcome for me was that the work pushed me out of my rut.  Look at how happy I am with her!


I've been choreographing combos as I walk around my house.  I've been thinking up new songs to use in a variety of classes.  Even scheduling is benefiting from this shift (stay tuned, ladies, the next few weeks should be a HOOT at the studio), all from this boost of creative brain usage.

Ruts are dangerous.  Looking back at the last several months I can see that a lack of creativity has had a negative impact on several areas of my life well beyond the artistic parts of my world.  Our brains are powerful tools that need to be stretched and pushed and pulled and prodded to keep working at optimal levels, and it feels like mine was running on auto-pilot for a while there.

No more - creativity WILL be a part of my everyday from here on out.  How about yours?  How will you be creative tomorrow?

Bellydance

Bellydance

I had no idea how much a part of my life bellydance would become when I set out for my first class. I saw paint on a storefront window – the kind of paint you would use to write “for sale” on the front windshield of a used car – advertising a class. I don’t remember the exact wording now, but I do remember that it had “belly” and “mama” and “bellydance” included. I thought to myself…I have a belly, and I’m a mom, I’ll give bellydance a try. That was about 9 years ago and I haven’t stopped dancing.

I love this art form. It enables me to spend time in my body in true bliss. This is quite a feat given the years and years of body image and self esteem issues I’ve racked up! When I’m bellydancing I’m able to lose myself in the music and the movement – like I said, bliss.

As I’ve taken on teaching and choreographing over the years I’ve seen my relationship with bellydance change a bit. Being in front of a classroom keeps me grounded, and my focus isn’t on how the movements make me feel – it shifts to being about how to describe the movements and transfer the knowledge of how to make them happen. It becomes about helping other women find that bliss and that self-acceptance and love of the dance.

When this post publishes, I’ll be immersing myself in bellydance as a student, studying with the incomparable Rachel Brice. Her teaching style is a good fit for me, and I ADORE watching her dance – she is one of the few dancers who brings me to that bliss place from my seat in the audience. I’ve been looking forward to this trip since taking the plunge and registering back in July and it’s hard to believe the time has finally come.

I will post on the other side of the week of learning, but from where I sit right now I am 100% excited. I’ve left the stages of fear and nervousness behind and will head into the first day of Initiation with the open mind of a student ready to learn. I am ready for the hard work that will be required, and I’m looking forward to some bliss moments along the way.

Bellydance, how I do love thee!